After working as a healer in Los Angeles, house-sitting and living on $600/month, Christina Morassi took a decision to make a big change in her life and income. With the help of some high-end coaches, she set up a business – and in her third year of helping women entrepreneurs with their branding, grossed $700,000 USD.
However, a few years later, Christina pulled the plug on the business as it was set up – she was exhausted, feeling on the edge of burn-out, had no personal life to speak of, and had a suspicion that there must be a way to do life that wasn’t quite so depleting.
The journey since has involved moving out of ‘man mode’ and into devising a ‘feminine operating system’ – an all-new way of doing business. I talked to Christina about what this journey has entailed.
Catriona Mitchell: Christina, you took a astonishingly brave decision to wrap up your business while it was in the throes of wild success, in order to pioneer an all-new way of approaching work and business. What were your big discoveries after making that decision?
Christina Morassi: I went into the unknown, big time. I think I thought it would take a few months. That’s not exactly what happened. The business steadily fell apart more and more, to the degree that I thought it’s not going to get any worse, and then it did. But I felt like I was fighting for something. I was fighting for “I’m not going to do it unless it feels right, and I won’t hustle, I won’t push… there’s got to be a different way to do this that has more ease and flow.”
I started to see the importance of pleasure, and to see that that’s the fuel of the feminine operating system. I started to understand that the feminine operating system is completely different from the cultural norm. We have all had a patriarchal operating system installed into our hard drives – we didn’t have a choice; our neurons are hard-wired for something that is not our natural design.
All my colleagues who were running 7-figure business, they were all on the verge of burnout. They had health issues, they were going to nutritionists, they had adrenal fatigue, and I thought, “This isn’t sustainable. Something needs to change. We need to figure out how to do business in alignment with our actual design. So I’m just going to rebuild from the feminine and everything will be great.” Well, that was not the case either. It only led me to more dismantling, in actuality.
You hadn’t realized the enormity of what you were taking on.
In hindsight I can see what was going on – you don’t just jump from the patriarchal operating system right to the feminine. It doesn’t work like that. There is so much work involved, just to figure out what the feminine operating system is, and no one was talking about it. People would talk about feminine power, which is awesome, but no one taught you to do it in business.
Christina Morassi leading one of her live events for women entrepreneurs in the US.
How would you define the ‘patriarchal operating system’, as opposed to the feminine one?
Well, the patriarchal operating system is based on masculine values, but really, not the exalted ones. It’s based on bigger, better, faster. Aggression, competition, the bottom line being most important, all pain no gain, everybody out for themselves… the traditional norm of the damn world we live in. There’s so much separation built into it.
I know this doesn’t serve men either, for sure, but at least it’s closer to their values and their design.
It’s so far removed from the way we operate.
The feminine operating system, for me, is when a woman uses her natural design and feminine values of being-ness versus doing, of attraction versus action, of surrender versus direction and control, of allowing versus hustling and making it happen. Being like the beautiful flower that is magnetic and attracts things to her, without having to go out and push.
This feminine archetype is so denigrated in our culture, across the board.
I’ve heard you say that women’s pleasure is ‘the antidote to many of societal ills’. What did you mean by that?
When a woman is in her pleasure, there’s literally electricity, chi, energy, prana, a life force energy that’s activated on a physiological level. Whereas the way current society is running, everyone is running on a deficit. Everyone is drained and bone tired, because we’re operating out of hustle, we’re operating on staying busy, with no time for pleasure or for rest or mystery. It’s all go-go-go, it’s all action, in the masculine archetype.
If someone is filled up, everything starts to change. First of all their health changes. They’re going to be nicer to the people around them; they’re going to feel better about themselves, and of course that’s going to impact every decision that they make…
What about the role of desire in a woman’s life, which you also talk about as being of vital importance?
Desire is a spark that rises up and sends you in the direction of a nutrient you need. You can’t really access your desires until you take time in the mystery, in the nothingness. We need to go yin in order to listen for our desires. If you’re constantly in action or in yang, you’re not going to hear your desires – you’re just busy.
The cosmic void is the thing from which all things come. That’s the feminine. And then ideally in ‘no action’… she waits for the initial impulse of a desire, without pushing, without forcing. When that desire comes in, she wants to feed it with her pleasure – to fan the flames with dreaming, putting some specificity on it. Then it starts to become a bit visceral. And that’s enough to inspire and awaken the masculine – he wakes up and says, “My feminine has a desire and I want to be of service and come up with a plan and a strategy to make it so.” He starts to put form and structure around the desire. The masculine wants to be in service, it’s his natural state.
Leading a live event for women entrepreneurs, in her unconventional style
Now that you’ve been investigating all this for some time, how do you see the steps involved in moving away from the masculine way of doing things, and moving to a feminine operating system?
I see that there are 5 steps.
Step 1 is about breaking free from conditioning. I thought I could jump straight into the feminine operating system, but I couldn’t. I really had to draw a line in the sand, to say, “I will stop using the patriarchal operating system, which encourages me to be very outward-oriented, worrying about what other people think about me, and says that all my wisdom is outside of me. I need to break free from that, so I can start to see who the hell I even am on the inside.” That piece is super important, because the enmeshment all of us have with parents and childhood wounds and siblings and partners… you have to break free from the chains that bind you.
Step 2. Now you want to come inside, to see who you are. This is about opening up your desire channel. Your desires are like your compass with the divine… you want to start to follow them because they can be an incredible GPS to guide you. That can guide you to start to move in the world differently.
Step 3. Now you want to power it up – I would say with our ‘sex power’. We have the ability to create life, literally, and that’s got a very generative potency. Of course we can use that in our businesses. But for the most part, people are shut down around their sex power because of our horrific conditioning around shame and distortion and such. There’s a lot of work to do to open that up, and get it back to its pure state, which is potency.
Step 4. This is all about ‘pleasure power’. I see that desire and pleasure are totally different. Desire is the longing and the wanting of something; and pleasure is the receiving and the having. They’re two different sides of the same coin. This is about using pleasure power over will-power. Learning how to feel good and making that a priority. How do we put pleasure pauses into our day? How do we take time out to make sure we’re not drained, and are replenished?
Step 5. This is about how we put all this into action. These are lovely concepts, but what does this look like in business, in real life? This is where we look at how the masculine and feminine work together in business, and take our feminine operating system for a test-drive. I’m not saying the feminine operating system doesn’t have the masculine in it; it just operates in an entirely different way.
You can learn more about Christina Morassi and her work around bringing pleasure into business here.